do you ever ruin a perfectly good memory by trying to make it happen again?

hello friends! I’m back from New Zealand, and first a quick update: in a few short weeks, I learnt how to drive, got my driver’s license, performed a Samoan siva and sasa, had a halloween excursion, learnt how to ice skate, anddddd sorta fell and kissed a guy?

towards the end of my trip, I did meet someone. and because life has excellent comedic timing, saying hello came with a very imminent goodbye. most of that story I’m keeping to myself (sorry to my readers who email), but I do have thoughts to share.

“do it for the plot” has been my holy grail of advice the past few weeks, and I regret to inform you that it really did work. actually, so much so that now I’m attached to the plot and would like a sequel and preferably with the same cast. this is how “that was fun” turns into “when can we do it again?” and suddenly you’re looking for any excuse to have a little more time.

maybe you’ve done this too with a person, or a place, or a moment in time. it’s a very specific kind of greedy. we cling onto the past because we know what’s there. but the future? how can you hold onto something so unknown? after all, a few weeks ago, all of this was the unknown too.

I usually only get nostalgic after something ends, but this time I was still there in the moment, already knowing I’d miss it. I didn’t have to leave to know I’d want to come back. but if another afternoon risks spoiling it? yes, I think I’d take my chances.

really, for someone with a return ticket, I got quite ambitious.

p.s. new nz album out in gallery!